1769 quotes from The Office!
Random Quotes from The Office
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

11
votes
vote
| Phyllis: | Um. I was walking to the building and this man asked me for directions and he was holding a map and when I walked over he had it out on the map. |
| Angela: | Phyllis. You're a married woman. |
| Creed: | The guy was just hanging brain. I mean, what's all the fuss. |
| [cut to interview] | |
| Creed: | If that's flashing then lock me up. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

13
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | Holly is sweet, and simple. Like a lady baker. I- would not be surprised to find out that she had worked in a bakery before coming here. She has that kind of warmth. [thinking] I'm pretty sure she's baked on a professional level. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

9
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | Due to a recent incident involving Phyllis, a man, a map and his penis, I think you know what I'm referring to, Michael has authorized me to form an emergency anti-flashing task force. |
| Jim Halpert: | Question. Won't that interfere with your other task forces? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Answer: No. Because this is being given priority one. This is a petition for the business park to upgrade the security cameras, as well as install two floodlights in the parking lot. And I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises. But that is a risk we have to take. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

7
votes
vote
| Andy: | The Finer Things Club is the most exclusive club in this office. Naturally it's where I need to be. The party planning committee is my backup. And Kevin's band is my safety. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

8
votes
vote
| Kevin: | Uh, attention everyone, attention please. Uh, I'm supposed to ask if anyone has seen Uncle Al. He is old, has brown eyes and dementia. His family is very concerned. It's a very serious situation. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

5
votes
vote
| Pam Beesly: | Are those Michael's Levi's? |
| Ryan: | Yeah. Who drycleans jeans? |
| Pam Beesly: | Michael and his jeans... he gets in them, and I'm not exactly sure what happens, but I can tell you he loves the way he looks in those jeans. I know that's why he started casual Fridays. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

3
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | Okay everybody, slight change of plans. We are still going to be having two parties, but each is going to get a little extra dose of not-tay! [slaps bum] |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

7
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | ID badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at sixty pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged? |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

4
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | Which is higher, Assistant Regional Manager or Regional Director in charge of sales? |
| Michael Scott: | I told you the titles were irrelevant. They just relate to payscale. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay, so who gets paid more. Me or Andy? |
| Michael Scott: | It is not a matter of more or less, your pay is just different. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

4
votes
vote
| Jim Halpert: | Hey man do you mind if I run something by you? |
| Ryan: | Love it! Go. |
| Jim Halpert: | Well, I kind of feel like what we had going for us was our customer service. And no matter how much we change this up, I don't know that a website's going to be able to replace that. |
| Ryan: | I can tell you've thought about this a lot I appreciate that. David Wallace does too. You told him all about this at the Christmas party right? |
| Jim Halpert: | [stammering] |
| Ryan: | You did, yeah. |
| Jim Halpert: | Hmm. |
| Ryan: | Watch your back, Jim. [pause] Just kidding. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

8
votes
vote
| Oscar: | [of Mexican descent] I can play, if you need any help. |
| Michael Scott: | I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we ever decide to box. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

5
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | Now ok, I know that this is probably now "appropriate." But I need help. Because I want to play ball with my kids, before I get too old. And before that happens, I need to get laid. And, before that happens I need to be in love. And I don't wanna hear, "oooh I can't help euhh." No. No. I'm a catch. And I am not going to be the one who got away. So this is what we're going to do. Dwight is going to hand out index cards, and I want you all to write down the name of an eligible woman for me to date. By the end of the day. No. By the end of the hour. Or you are fired. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Write legibly people. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

10
votes
vote
| Pam Beesly: | Do you want me to ask where you're going? |
| Michael Scott: | No. |
| Pam Beesly: | Great. |
| Michael Scott: | Dwight will be driving me deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness, where he will then leave me. To either die, or to survive. The choice is yours. |
| Jim Halpert: | ...No. The choice is actually yours. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

3
votes
vote
| Karen: | I'm not stupid. Okay? I was at the beach. We don't have a future in Scranton. There's one too many people there. |
| Jim Halpert: | You mean Kevin? |
| Karen: | Exactly. |
1
vote
AD
Refresh the page for more random quotes from The Office.
The Office Quotes is a fan site dedicated to NBC's The Office.
It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans.
Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when taking content from this site.
It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans.
Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when taking content from this site.



