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The Office Season 2 Quotes - Daughter to Work Day
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Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael: | Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. |
| [types something] | |
| Michael: | 'Little Kid Lover'. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at. |
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| Pam: | I am actually looking forward to Take Your Daughter to Work day. I am not great with kids, but I want to get better. Because I'm getting married. So I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel. |
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| Michael: | I'm like Superman and the people who work here are like the citizens of Gotham City. |
| Jim and Dwight: | That's Batman. |
| Michael: | Okay, fine, I'll be Aquaman. Where does he live? |
| Jim: | The ocean. |
| Michael: | I work with a bunch of nerds! |
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| Michael: | I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. I joke around with 'em, you give 'em pizza, you give 'em candy. You let 'em live their lives. They're adults for God sake. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael: | This is Creed, and he is in charge of... something... right? |
| Creed: | That is correct. |
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| Ryan: | Kelly and I both agreed that we would both have fun, and I'm learning that fun for Kelly is getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me. |
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| Stanley: | [Screaming at Ryan] That little girl is a child! I don't want see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand? Boy, have you lost your mind, cause I'll help you find it, whatcha looking for, ain't nobody gonna help you out there, Jesus could come through that door, he's not going to help you, if you don't stop sniffing after my child! |
| [cut to Ryan] | |
| Ryan: | Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most freighting experiences of my life. |
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| Michael: | The kids don't wanna hear some weirdo book that your Nazi war criminal grandma read to you-- |
| Little girl: | What's a Nazi? |
| Michael: | 'What's a Nazi?'? |
| Dwight: | Nazi was a fascist movement from the 1930's-- |
| Michael: | No no no! Don't talk about Nazis infront of-- You know what? They're gonna have nightmares so why don't you just shut it? |
| Dwight: | I was gonna teach the children how to make cornhusk dolls. |
| Michael: | [sighs] Why don't you just leave? Okay? |
| Dwight: | Okay. |
| Meredith's child: | Bye Mr. Poop. |
| Michael: | Alright. There goes Mr. Poop. Now, who likes Dane Cook? |
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| Dwight: | The Schrutes consider children very valuable. In the olden days, the women would bear many children. So we would have enough laborers to work the fields. And if it was an especially cold winter, and there weren't enough grains for vegetables. They would get the weakest of the brood. [laughs] No, they didn't eat the children... It never came to that. |
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| Jim: | Ow ow ow ow. You broke my hand. |
| Dwight: | There is no way that hurt. |
| Jim: | Really? Because she's pretty strong Dwight. |
| Dwight: | Little girl, come over here. Shake my hand. Come on I don't have all day... I don't feel anything. Nothing. [to Jim] You are so weak. |
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| Michael: | Children cannot lie, they are innocent and they speak the truth. Out of the mouth of babes, Micheal Scott is freakin' cool. |
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| Michael: | Listen, I like kids. But this is not a kid's environment, this is like HBO. No limits. Who knows what I'm going to say? Crazy stuff. And it is R-rated. It is not rated G. I am like Eddie Murphy in Raw, and they are trying to make me into Eddie Murphy in Daddy Day Care. Both great movies, but still. |
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| Michael: | You know what? Don't mind me saying so, she has turned into a stone cold fox. Better keep the frat boys away from her. |
| Melissa: | I'm in eighth grade. |
| Michael: | Ohh. |
| Stanley: | She's in middle school. |
| Michael: | Yeah. Middle school's amazing. It is extraordinary. An extraordinary time. |
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| Michael: | You need someone in the middle to facilitate-- |
| Meredith's son: | You're just a middleman. |
| Michael: | I'm not just a middleman. |
| Stanley's daughter: | Wait, why doesn't the manufacturer just sell the paper directly to people? |
| Michael: | You are describing Office Depot. And they are kind of running us out of business. |
| Dwight: | [from his desk] We have better service than they do! |
| [long pause] |
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