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The Office Season 2 - Dwight's Speech
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | Pam, I'm public speaking. Stop public interrupting me. Actually, this would be good practice for your wedding toast. |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah, the bride doesn't really do... have... you ever been to a wedding? |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | What is the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman? |
| Dwight Schrute: | A vagina. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | When I was in the 6th grade I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel. I mispelled, in front of the entire school, the word 'failure.' |
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| Dwight's Speech: | BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! [pause] Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds during the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? [bangs fist] Not only the years we've been at war the war of work but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle [bang's fists again] a never-ending fight, I say to you [bangs again] and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! [applause] Salesmen of north-eastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. [even bigger applause as Dwight gives a horrible sounding laugh] No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They'll conjure up images of used car dealers, and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesman and women of the world... unite. We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND... |
| Audience: | ...FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL! |
| [thunderous applause] |
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| Michael Scott: | I wanted to say a few words about excellence. What makes... a work environment excellent? Well, there are many things, I believe, that do such a thing of that... nature. |
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| Michael Scott: | Try not to be such an idiot. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Is that an insult or is that part of the public speaking advice? |
| Michael Scott: | Insult. |
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| Dwight Schrute | Okay, you know what? This isn't working because uh, I'm not nervous in front of them, they're my subordinates. |
| Jim Halpert: | Uh, no we're not. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ah, yes you are, I am assistant regional manger. |
| Jim Halpert: | Which means absolutely nothing. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Michael can you explain? |
| Michael Scott: | Well, it's mostly made up.. so.. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Dwight, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I can travel anywhere, except Cuba, and I will travel to New Zealand and walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor and I will hike Mount Doom. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | Dwight gave a great speech. That's the word on the street, anyway. And I entertained Dwight to no end with my bar story, so I captivated the guy who captivated a thousand guys. Can you believe that? A thousand guys. |
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| Toby: | To amsterdam. |
| Jim Halpert: | When did you go there? |
| Toby: | After my divorce. |
| Jim Halpert: | Really, like how long? |
| Toby: | Uh, about a week, er... maybe a month... I don- can't remember... |
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| Kevin: | You should go to Hedonism. |
| Jim Halpert: | What is that? |
| Kevin: | It's like Club Med, but everything is naked. |
| Jim Halpert: | I was thinking more like Europe, or something like that. But... good... second choice. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Jim Halpert: | What did I do to deserve this? |
| Pam Beesly: | Are you sad that Dwight beat you? |
| Jim Halpert: | No. |
| Pam Beesly: | Are you going to cry Jim? Do you need a tissue? |
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| Michael Scott: | Look, it doesn't matter what you say. It just matters that you're saying something that people care about. Yeah? Alright. Here we go. Watch this. [walks into the main office area] Attention everybody. Attention please. I have some very great news from corporate. We had a wonderful quarter and as a result all of you are getting bonuses for one thousand dollars! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yeah! |
| Michael Scott: | Congratulations. [returns to conference room with Dwight] You see that? You see how they responded to me? In that moment, I had them. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That is so great about the bonus! |
| Michael Scott: | No no, it's not true. I was just talking. So, just go out there and say anything. They'll eat it up. They're a great audience. |
| Stanley: | [on the phone] Go ahead. Get the wallpaper. Wallpaper the ceiling if you want. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Hi, yeah, can I talk to one of your travel agents? Where do I want to go, um, that is an excellent question- One I probably should have thought of before I called you. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Jim Halpert: | Dwight was the top salesman of the year at our company. He wins a little prize money and gets honored at some convention. It is literally the highest possible honor that a Northeastern Pennsylvania based mid-size paper company regional salesman can attain, so... |
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| Ryan: | Jim has worked at the same place for five years. Jim eats the same ham and cheese sandwich every day for lunch. I don't know, if I were a betting man, I'd say he will have a fun weekend in Philadelphia. |
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| Michael Scott: | Speaker at the sales convention. Been there, done that. Went there again, did it again. Two years in a row. Consecutive. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Can we not? |
| Michael Scott: | No, yes we have to, know why? Because I don't like to be cooped up in that office, in that box, all day long. Heisman! |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Dwight Schrute: | Excuse me. May I have your attention, please. There has been an accident on 84-West. Cars have skidded off the road into the safety railing. Several cars have flipped. There is broken glass everywhere. Several people are injured. |
| Pam Beesly: | Do we know anyone who was in the accident? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Brad Pitt. Also, there will be no bonuses. |
| Stanley: | Why would this affect our bonuses? |
| Dwight Schrute: | They are unrelated. |
| Kelly: | Is Brad ok? |
| Dwight Schrute: | He will never act again. Also, this branch is closing. |
| Oscar: | What the hell's going on here? |
| Angela: | Are we out of jobs? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yes. |
| Kelly: | This is karma because of what he did to Jennifer Anniston. |
| Michael Scott: | He was kidding. Dwight was kidding and I don't know why because it wasn't funny and was, just, horrible. |
| Stanley: | Michael, you said we were getting bonuses. |
| Michael Scott: | Alright, everybody in the conference room now. Let's go. Let's do it. |
| Stanley: | [into phone] Cancel the wallpaper. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | I miss the feeling of knowing you did a good job beacuse someone gives you proof of it. 'Sir, you're awesome, let me give you a plaque! What? A whole year has gone by? You need more proof? Here is a certificate.' They stopped making plaques that year. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | I'm very sorry, I did not know that you were wearing a hearing aid, I just thought you were speaking... abnormally. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Dwight Schrute: | I can't do this. |
| Michael Scott: | That's because you're incapable of doing it. Because you don't know how. Because you have no skills. Dwight, there's no way I can possibly teach you what you need to know about public speaking by speech time. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Pam Beesly: | I have a ton of stuff to do for the wedding, and I have to do it in the office. And that can be kind of awkward. Um, just because people can get all weird about wedding stuff, and I just I don't want to offend Angela. Or someone. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Oscar: | I get here early every morning so I can set the thermostat. I like it a little cooler, around 66 degrees. I'm more productive. Maybe some people don't like it as cold as I do. But I don't care. |
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