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The Office Season 2 - The Client
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| [reading Michael's screenplay] | |
| Dwight Schrute: | Sam, get my luggage. |
| Ryan: | I forget it, brotha. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Samuel, you are such an idiot. You are the worst assistant ever. And you're disgusting, Dwigt. Wait who's 'Dwigt'? |
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| [reading Michael's screenplay] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Catherine Zeta-Jones enters. |
| Phyllis: | Sir you have some messages. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Not now! |
| Phyllis: | They're important. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay, what are they? |
| Phyllis: | The first message is, 'I love you.' That's from me. |
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| Michael Scott: | [ordering at Chili's] Megan? May we have an Awesome Blossom please? Extra awesome. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Here's what we think happened: Michael's sidekick, who all through the movie is this complete idiot who's causing the downfall of the United States, was originally named Dwight. But then Michael changed it to Samuel L. Chang using a search and replace, but that doesn't work on misspelled words, leaving behind one Dwigt. And Dwight figured it out. Oops. |
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| Michael Scott: | Chili's is the new golf course, it's where business happens. Small Businessman Magazine. |
| Jan: | It said that. |
| Michael Scott: | It will, I sent it in; letter to the editor. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Are those Michael's Levi's? |
| Ryan: | Yeah. Who drycleans jeans? |
| Pam Beesly: | Michael and his jeans... he gets in them, and I'm not exactly sure what happens, but I can tell you he loves the way he looks in those jeans. I know that's why he started casual Fridays. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma in the seventh grade. I played the part of Mutey, the mailman. They had too many kids so they made up roles like that... I was good. |
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| Michael Scott: | [to Jan] They just don't get very much work done when I'm not here. That's not true. I know how to delegate, and they do more work when I''m not here. Not more... the same amount of work is done whether I am here or not... [to the office] Alright. Ciao. [points to Oscar] Adios! |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Good luck Michael. Good luck Jan. |
| Jan: | Thank you. |
| Michael Scott: | Kiss-ass. |
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| Michael Scott: | The first guy says, 'Well I''m an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.' And the second guy says, 'Well I am a pimp so I drive a cheap Escort.' And the third guy says, 'I got you both beat. I''m a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe.' |
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| Michael Scott: | Hi I'm Michael Scott, this is Jan Levinson Gould. |
| Jan: | Just Jan Levinson. |
| Michael Scott: | No Gould? |
| Jan: | No. Thank you very much for meeting with us, have you been waiting long? |
| Christian: | No, not long. |
| Michael Scott: | Uh, Jan what happened? |
| Jan: | Michael! |
| Michael Scott: | Is Gould dead? |
| Jan: | Michael, we got divorced, okay? |
| Michael Scott: | Whoa, you're kidding me! Do you wanna talk about it? |
| Jan: | Michael! [to a waiter] Could we have a table for three please? |
| Michael Scott: | When did this happen? |
| Jan: | We're in a meeting. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, after you. [mouths to camera] Wow! |
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| Jim Halpert: | If we get this, they might not have to downsize our branch. And I could work here for years. Years. Years... |
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| Christian: | You put your arms out there. You slit your wrist. You said, 'World, this is my blood, it's red just like yours, so love me.' |
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| Christian: | We're interested in saving money. |
| Jan: | What's the bottom line? |
| Michael Scott: | [shouts nonsense] |
| [later, to the camera] | |
| Michael Scott: | That's why I wanted to come up with a code word, so I wouldn't just have to shout nonsense. That's her fault. |
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| Michael Scott: | Wow, all these charts and graphs. Someone's been doing their homework... looks like USA Today. |
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| Michael Scott: | Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train, and she wasn't moving, you might think she was dead. |
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| Ryan: | Agent Michael Scarn, you lost some weight. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Thank you for noticing. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Well at least I didn't leave you at a high school hockey game. |
| Pam: | I have some faxes to get out. |
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| Christian: | For us the name of the game is budget reduction-- |
| Michael Scott: | Awesome blossom! |
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| Jim Halpert: | Phyllis, I would like you to play Catherine Zeta-Jones. |
| Phyllis: | That's the character's name? |
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