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The Office Season 3 - Diwali

  • Quotes
  • Conference Room (6 Comments)
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
9
votes
Kelly's mom: So you're saving money now to start a family and home?
Ryan: Oh, um, or travel. And, um, buy an Xbox.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
6
votes
Michael Scott: Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. What is Diwali, you may ask. Well, to have Kelly explain it, ' well, it's, blah blah blah, it's so super, fun, and it's gonna be great!' Lot of gods with unpronouncable names, twenty minutes later, you find out that it is essentially a Hindu Halloween.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
6
votes
Michael Scott: So, um, tell me, is your marriage the kind of thing where when you die, she has to throw herself on a fire? No? Okay. It's still very cool.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
6
votes
Michael Scott: This is just like that show, Taxi Cab Confessions--
Pam Beesly: If you say one more word I'm stopping the car.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
5
votes
Michael Scott: Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do... sign me up. Because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
5
votes
Michael Scott: Now a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million. And that's true, but it's also not true. Because frankly there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world. Here are some famous Indians...
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
5
votes
Michael Scott: And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who's seen that before?
Creed: I have. That's the Union of the Monkey.
Meredith: Ohh, that's what they call it.
Kevin: This is the best meeting we have ever had.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
5
votes
Michael Scott: Can I have a ride home?
Pam Beesly: If you sit in the back.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
5
votes
Angela: How many gods do you have?
Kelly: Like hundreds I think, maybe more than that.
Angela: [points to poster on the wall] And that blue, busty gal? What's her story?
Kevin: She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Dwight Schrute: [scoffs] Pam wishes.
[Pam shakes her head in disbelief at the camera]
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
4
votes
Pam Beesly: What are you doing?
Michael Scott: What are you doing?
Pam Beesly: I'm rejeting your kiss.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
4
votes
Kelly: Um, Diwali is awesome. And there's food and there's gonna be dancing, and oh I got the raddest outfit, it has um sparkles--
Michael Scott: Kelly, um, why don't you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday?
Kelly: Oh, um, I donno it's really old, I think.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
3
votes
Jim Halpert: I started biking to work. Josh does it and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also it saves gas money, keeps me in shape, helps the environment, and now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
3
votes
Dwight Schrute: Kelly, I'll take this one. Diwaili is a celebration of the coronation of the god king Rama after his epic battle with Ravana, the demon king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil--
Michael Scott: Alright, alright, alright, this isn't Lord of the Rings.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
3
votes
Pam Beesly: I decided to come. Um, I feel a little underdressed, but at least I'm not dressed like a slutty cheerleader, right? Is that mean?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
3
votes
Michael Scott: I don't really get it. 'Cause we're not doing that bad. And our numbers are going to come up.
Jan Levinson: Well it's not all about numbers, Michael. It's about talent.
Michael Scott: Oh, you gotta be...Josh??
Jan Levinson: Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our company's future.
Michael Scott: Oh really? What role is that? The king of the stupid universe?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
3
votes
Michael Scott: It's important this company celebrates its diversity. And you know what, Stanley, come Kwanzaa time, I've got you covered baby.
Stanley: I don't celebrate Kwanzaa.
Michael Scott: Wha- really? You should. It's fun.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
2
votes
Andy Bernard: We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I.
Jim Halpert: Excuse me?
Andy Bernard: Roller coastery friendship. Hot, cold, on-again, off-again, sexual tension-filled type of deal. It's very Sam and Diane.
Jim Halpert: Wow.
Andy Bernard: From Cheers.
Jim Halpert: Yep.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
2
votes
[during presentation on famous Indians]
Michael Scott: M. Night Shyamalan. The Village, Unbreakable, Sixth Sense--
Dwight Schrute: I see dead people.
Michael Scott: Okay. Spoiler alert.
Dwight Schrute: He was dead the whole time.
Michael Scott: Just stop it.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
2
votes
Michael Scott: My Indian cultural seminar was going great until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It's just sex, people. Everybody does it. I'm doing it. With Carol. Probably tonight.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
2
votes
Michael Scott: I love the people here. And if there was one thing I don't really care for is that they can be terribly, terribly ignorant about other cultures. And I don't want them embarassing me in front of my girlfriend, Carol.
1
vote

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