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The Office Season 3 Quotes - The Job
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Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Dwight Schrute: | Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time in now, check-out time is never. |
| Jim Halpert: | Does my room have cable? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No. And the sheets are made of fire. |
| Jim Halpert: | Can I change rooms? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Sorry we're all booked up. Hell convention in town. |
| Jim Halpert: | Can I have a late check-out? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I'll have to talk to the manager. |
| Jim Halpert: | You're not the manager, even in your own fantasy? |
| Dwight Schrute: | I'm the owner.. the co-owner. With Satan! |
| Jim Halpert: | Okay, just so I understand it. In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil. |
| Dwight Schrute: | But I haven't told you my salary yet. |
| Jim Halpert: | Go. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Eighty thousand dollars. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Pam Beesly: | I haven't heard anything, but I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified and smart; everyone loves him. And... if he never comes back again, that's okay. We're friends and I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just... we never got the timing right, you know? I shot him down, and then he did the same to me. But you know what? It's okay, I'm totally fine. Everything's going to be totally-- |
| Jim Halpert: | Pam! [looks at camera] Sorry. Um, are you free for dinner tonight? |
| Pam Beesly: | Yes. |
| Jim Halpert: | Alright, then it's a date. |
| Pam Beesly: | [looking so happy she's about to cry] I'm sorry, what was the question? |
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| Ryan: | Last year Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I've read some of it. Even for the intranet, it's... pretty shocking. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Once I am officially regional manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice: Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable, fictional, and overqualified. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | We-- Don't you wanna earn Schrute Bucks!? |
| Stanley: | No. In fact, I'll give you a billion Stanley Nickels if you never talk to me again. |
| Dwight Schrute: | What's the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks? |
| Stanley: | The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns. |
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| Andy: | I am a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something no one else has. My brain. Which I use to my advantage, when advantageous. |
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| Andy: | What's up, Big Haircut? You are no longer Big Tuna. From henceforth you shall be known as Big Haircut. |
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| Pam Beesly: | I don't know what the future holds. But, I'm optimistic. And, uh, I had fun goofing around with Dwight today. Jim and I are just too, similar. Maybe one day I'll find my own Karen. But, you-- but that is a, um, you know not-- a man. A man version. But, uh, until then, I can hold my head up. I'm not gay. |
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| Michael Scott: | [on phone] Hey Pam, yeah, I forgot what day the interview was and I drove to New York accidentally. I'll be like three hours late. |
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| Meredith: | You know what, don't even worry about it. Everyone was so drunk, I'll bet no one even remembers what you said |
| Creed: | I remember. I blogged the whole thing. www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts. Check it out. |
| [cut to Ryan's talking head] | |
| Ryan: | Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened a word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I've read some of it. Even for the intranet... it's pretty shocking. |
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| Michael Scott: | I am by far the most qualified person they're interviewing. Jim and Karen are here, which is cute. They're like kid actors, tagging along with daddy at the big audition, hoping to be discovered. Except daddy is the best actor around. Daddy is Meryl Streep. |
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| Michael Scott: | Why is my office black? |
| Dwight Schrute: | To intimidate my subordinates. |
| Michael Scott: | That's stupid. |
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| Jim Halpert: | How are your feet? |
| Pam Beesly: | Medium rare. Thanks. |
| Jim Halpert: | The real reason I went to Stamford is because I wanted to be... not here. |
| Pam Beesly: | I know. |
| Jim Halpert: | And even though I came back, I just feel like I never really.. came back. |
| Pam Beesly: | Well I wish you would. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Jan: | Sorry to drop by unexpectantly. I, uh, I tried calling but I kept getting voicemail. |
| Michael Scott: | Weird. Yeah, I didn't get both of your messages. |
| Jan: | Ah... |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | The time has come to name my own replacement. So, please hand this letter of congratulations to, Dwight K. Schrute. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That's my name. [reading the letter] 'Dwight, congratuations a-wipe. Don't screw the pooch.' |
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| Michael Scott: | Is Jan in yet? |
| Hunter: | I think she's coming in later. |
| Michael Scott: | Could you give her a message for me when she gets in? |
| Hunter: | Sure. |
| Michael Scott: | Just say, 'I want to squeeze them.' It's code. She'll know what it means. |
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| [while Dwight's painting the room black] | |
| Andy: | It's like I'm staring into my soul when I look at this wall. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Pam, hello. |
| Pam Beesly: | Dwight, hello. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I wanted to thank you... for helping me, when you had the title of Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager. You served the office, with great dignity. [they salute eachother] |
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| Karen: | I'm not stupid. Okay? I was at the beach. We don't have a future in Scranton. There's one too many people there. |
| Jim Halpert: | You mean Kevin? |
| Karen: | Exactly. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Wait! Come on! Let's listen to Dwight's presentation. |
| [Dwight winks at Pam] | |
| Oscar: | Wh- what are you winking for? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Zipyourlid! |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Michael Scott: | Ryan, coffee. |
| Ryan: | I don't do that stuff anymore. |
| Michael Scott: | No, it's for me, Bimbo. [looks at camera] Kids. |
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| Michael Scott: | Here's the sitch. Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life. She treated me poorly, we didn't connect, I was miserable. Now, I am in the best relationship of my life, with the same woman. Love is a mystery. |
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| Karen: | So, we have all night, where do you wanna go first? |
| Jim Halpert: | I donno. How 'bout the U.N.? |
| Karen: | How often do you come here? |
| Jim Halpert: | Um, everytime my sixth grade class goes on a field trip. |
| Karen: | Well I think you're really going to enjoy this, adult Jim. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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| Pam Beesly: | No, it's fine! I'm sure it must have been weird for Jim when Roy and I were joking around... that one time. |
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